Taurus

Howdy! Taurus has always been one of the easier ones of the zodiac for me, I've had the idea in my head since I started the series. Taurus makes me think of bulls, obviously, and bulls make me think of catlle herding which brings us to ranchers and the whole wild wild west theme. I don't get that excited about cowboys (it's the spitting I think. Cowboys always seemed to do a lot of spitting in those old western movies. Personally, I like a man who can keep his saliva to himself). But cowGIRLS... Now, they're something else! They're totally badass, as proven by Elizabeth Taylor in 'Giant'.

I think I'm mostly in awe of how she could pull of wearing a cowboy hat and still look cute, while I look like a total idiot when attempting that same look (For Halloween or a dress-up party or something, I'm not strolling around the streets in cowgirl getup, just to be clear). I convinced myself it's because we only have knockoffs over here. I mean, the hats are an American phenomena and thus all such items that are sold outside of the US of A are just not the real deal. And that's why said hats refuse to sit on my head in a fashionable, or even acceptable, manner. Yeah.... That must be it... It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I'm not, to my dismay, Elizabeth Taylor...

Anyway, moving on! :D

Taurus
You are brooding emotion incarnate. One minute you're up, the next you're down, the next you've shot your favorite newscaster in the kneecaps, "just 'cuz.". You're very earthy, which may mean that you don't shower as often as most people. Or it may just mean that you like to roll around with your nose in clover and sigh. Taureans love happy movies where everyone is jolly and having fun, but they fight with waiters and get upset with billboards. They like to psychoanalyze their friends but have no real experience with life in general. Taureans mumble while describing philosophical concepts. The Taurus is a strange bird because he or she holds grudges about things that never actually happened. This may stem from the feelings of inadequacy resulting from being beaten out for first in line in the zodiac by Aries. That is the Taurean self-image, always second best. However, they are undoubtedly the best at feeling like second best. All Taureans want to be God. Unfortunately, God is an Aries. You are generally tough to figure out because you answer every question with a question. Also, you won't come out from under the bed. Most Taureans love conflict. If nothing is wrong, then that in itself is something wrong. Some especially like bar fights. If they can't get into an actual bar fight, they will make up interesting stories about them which they can tell their friends right before they psychoanalyze them. If it weren't for Bazooka Joe and The Family Circus, Taureans wouldn't know what to do. You feel that you are going nowhere in life. You are probably right. Taureans are impatient and pushy. They are in a tremendous hurry to get to the nowhere that they intend to go to. They make little dioramas of their homes, complete with tiny effigies of the people they know, and act out scenarios of the way things would be if they were God.